A Plea For Feedback

I've entered the Pitch Plus One contest, hosted by Adventures In YA Publishing. This contest centres on feedback that can help an author improve their pitch and the first sentence--or, in later rounds, the first page--of their manuscript.

Right now, anyone can chime in. Writers who move on to subsequent rounds will receive critiques from designated bloggers, authors, and agents.

As of Wednesday evening, I'm flying blind on the feedback front. Some people have popped in to say they like the book's premise, which is gratifying, but what I really need is constructive criticism. I want to beef up my pitch (which is a pared down version of my query letter; there was a 150-word maximum). I'd be grateful if y'all could pop over there, take a look at it, and give me some suggestions. If you like it, that's great. What do you like about it? If you dislike it, where does it lose you? How can I make it better?

The contest also has a voting component, if you are so inclined. Visitors are encouraged to read through all the pitches and vote for their favourites to proceed to the next round. You can only vote once, but you can select as many pitches as strike your fancy.

ETA: as of Thursday morning, it seems unlikely I'll move along to the next round. (I'm right on the border, depending on how they deal with ties.) That makes feedback even more important, since this is my ultimate chance to, you know, receive some. Please; I'll be grateful for any help you can give me.